Friday, March 15, 2019

Tales of a 5 yr old - Control some anger

Originally I wrote this post in 2015 but I never posted it. Josiah was 5 years old at the time. Since then he has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. We are taking these and other natural precautions for his diagnoses. Here is the original post and more of my added opinion since being diagnosed.

Before trying to manage your child's anger, they must first know how to identify the basic emotions. I had planned on making Josiah some EMO DOLLS via Danya Banya (A lot of help on this post as well!) This way they can also express the emotions when they need to. I never got around to making them but they are still pretty awesome in my opinion!

These are MY ways to try control anger in MY house.

As it turns out children have a lot to be angry about, I mean someone always telling them what to do, telling the they can't do something that they want to do and even when they fail at things. Letting your child know that anger is okay and normal but it is not okay to engage in the "angry actions" like hitting, throwing things, biting, and/or kicking.  Josiah has recently gone through these spurts with me. Which takes me to my first story and my first step.

Learning by Example

I would simply ask for a picture to be taken and he won't stand still or even just pose how I want (which I have learned NOW to not even attempt again, EVER)

He wouldn't move the flash light so I could see the words. I got frustrated and so did he. He could feel my frustration and then showed his by grabbing and hitting, then turned into throwing and screaming.

I should realize by now what pisses Josiah off, but it's a lot of things.... and I can't control FULLY how he is going to react. BUT I can show him how NOT to react! Doing these things are going to help not only Josiah but HELP myself control some anger. I am still in the process of controlling my own.

STOP & Take deep breathes 

Stop! Take deep breathes and calm down! Walk around or sit alone for a few minutes. Find a place where you can clear your mind.

It really helps Josiah to leave him alone during this time. then I try the next step.....

Release and Then Talk

RELEASE : Giving them play-dough to smash or popping bubble wrap is an activity that releases his bottled energy and aggression.  Going outside and screaming may help some. YOU running around the house (I know, I cringe my teeth) but showing your child that your not mad, may help him change his mood faster too.

After your child has released his surge of angry energy, you will notice that he may begin to play with the play-dough, begin to have fun with the bubble wrap, or even start talking normal again.

THEN TALK : Only when you see this, you will know that your child is ready to talk about what made him feel angry. Talking too early will only worsen your problem. Saying something even as simple as "Are you ready to talk?" Can trigger more anger.

Again all this is my opinion and personal preferences. If you think you need to see a doctor, please do. I am in no way, shape or form a doctor.